


wap (the group chat)

by mysticpendragon



Series: the fam group chat universe [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Fam Group Chat Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe – Crack, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Mostly independent from the Fam Group Chat fic but it's probably a good idea to read that, Spinoff, basically the companions' parents have a group chat where they slag off the doctor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticpendragon/pseuds/mysticpendragon
Summary: SylviaNoble: Order, order! I am calling all parents of the Doctor’s companions to this group chat!JackieTyler: what the fuckFrancineJones: Sorry, what is this?RoryWilliams: why am i hereNajiaKhan: Can I leaveSylviaNoble: I need to stage an intervention and I need your help!The Doctor and her fam have their own group chat -- but what about their parents? What about the ones who are left to pick up the pieces when the Doctor saunters away? What about the ones who are forgotten about when the Doctor entrances people to join them in their magic blue box? Well, Sylvia Noble is determined to find out, and she's going to change things! Tardises need parents' associations too!
Series: the fam group chat universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622644
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. parents have personalities too

**The Wilfred Association of Parents**

**< SylviaNoble created the group chat.>**

**< SylviaNoble added multiple members.>**

**SylviaNoble:** Order, order! I am calling all parents of the Doctor’s companions to this group chat!

**JackieTyler:** what the fuck

**FrancineJones:** Sorry, what is this?

**RoryWilliams:** why am i here

**NajiaKhan:** Can I leave

**SylviaNoble:** I need to stage an intervention and I need your help!

**SylviaNoble:** Some creep called the Unknown Entity hacked into the Doctor’s Tardis and connected parents of past Tardis travellers to this chat. I need help!

**NajiaKhan:** I thought the Doctor was a woman

**NajiaKhan:** My daughter Yaz likes her

**JackieTyler:** Be careful, she might fall hopelessly in love with her and end up in a different place altogether. without her

**NajiaKhan:** According to my daughter, that already happened

**RoryWilliams:** Sorry, did you say unknown entity?

**SylviaNoble:** Yes

**RoryWilliams:** Weird

**Unknown.Entity:** she is returning

**FrancineJones:** Well, that’s ominous.

**BrianWilliams:** Who is?

**Unknown.Entity:** she is returning

**NajiaKhan:** Does anyone with admin privileges want to remove them?

**SylviaNoble:** I tried to but it wouldn’t let me

**Unknown.Entity:** f in the chat for sylvia

**NajiaKhan:** F

**BrianWilliams:** f

**JackieTyler:** f

**WilfredMott:** F

**SylviaNoble:** Dad!

**SylviaNoble:** Okay, back to the matter at hand! Unless someone knocks some sense into my daughter Donna she might go back with the Doctor and never come home!

**JackieTyler:** I know the feeling

**BrianWilliams:** Same here, luckily the Doctor brought my family back

**NajiaKhan:** Wish I could say the same about Yaz

**AmyPond:** oh heyyy bitches

**AmyPond:** oh hi brian didnt realise you were here

**AmyPond:** what is this

**RoryWilliams:** Group chat for parents of Tardis travellers

**FrancineJones:** Who’re you the parents of?

**RoryWilliams:** River Song

**SylviaNoble:** My condolences

**AmyPond:** ?

**SylviaNoble:** My Donna mentioned meeting someone named River Song who died to save the library. I didn’t believe her

**AmyPond:** Hold that thought for a sec, brb

**JackieTyler:** So is there a reason for us to be gathered around virtually talking shit about my son in law

**FrancineJones:** Wait, what?

**RoryWilliams:** he’s my son in law too

**JackieTyler:** What?

**DaveOswald:** I wouldn’t be surprised if he was mine too

**NajiaKhan:** I’m waiting for her to become my daughter in law

**MoiraHennessy:** I’m worried that the Doctor was my daughter Bill’s sugar daddy

**JackieTyler:** Did he kidnap her for a year and never come home?

**MoiraHennessy:** ... It felt like that, at times.

**JackieTyler:** He probably was

**FrancineJones:** We should meet up and commisserate over drinks

**SylviaNoble:** only if they’re heavy

**DaveOswald:** Sounds like a good idea

**DaveOswald:** Between that and the bleach, letting your kid travel with the Doctor is a costly investment

**SylviaNoble:** Bleach for what?

**DaveOswald:** He was naked in front of me

**BrianWilliams:** He was the stripper at my son’s stag and then crashed the wedding

**NajiaKhan:** I should’ve done my research about this Doctor person

**NajiaKhan:** Who knows what she got my Yaz to do?

**GrahamOBrien:** Hello, what is this?

**DaveOswald:** Groupchat for the unfortunate parents of the Doctor’s companions

**GrahamOBrien:** Oh, the Doc? She’s nice, let me stay on another planet with my grandson to help out the people there

**GrahamOBrien:** Kinda makes up for the fact that my wife is dead because of her

**JackieTyler:** ... Say ‘aye’ if you have lost someone because of the Doctor.

**FrancineJones:** Does it count if that someone was my sanity

**JackieTyler:** yes

**FrancineJones:** Then aye

**SylviaNoble:** aye

**BrianWilliams:** Aye

**AmyPond:** aye

**RoryWilliams:** aye

**DaveOswald:** aye

**GrahamOBrien:** Aye

**NajiaKhan:** aye

**MoiraHennessy:** aye

**JackieTyler:** I thought so

**JackieTyler:** Let’s circle back next week and come up with a plan to get the Doctor’s attention.

**SylviaNoble:** Sounds good to me! Anyways, I’ve got a roast to take care of

**NajiaKhan:** Agreed.

**DaveOswald:** See you then!

**BrianWilliams:** Right-o.

**Fam Forever**

**RoryWilliams:** guys we have a problem


	2. the best laid plans of wap often go awry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DaveOswald: hehe sexy housework
> 
> NajiaKhan: Dave, just because you have a maid kink doesn’t mean all of us do
> 
> GrahamOBrien: mate tmi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello

**The Wilfred Association of Parents**

**SylviaNoble:** Let us address the elephant in the room

**SylviaNoble:** That is, to say, that our children are in yet another plot

**RoryWilliams:** tell me about it

**RoryWilliams:** not literally

**JackieTyler:** Apparently the Author wrote themselves into the main fic

**BrianWilliams:** could you elaborate? i was polishing my balls

**SylviaNoble:** Now that’s not a very polite thing to say!

**BrianWilliams:** golf balls

**RoryWilliams:** 🤦‍♂️

**Unknown.Entity:** it is approaching

**AmyPond:** quoi de la fuck???

**SylviaNoble:** Language!

**AmyPond:** suck it captain america

**Unknown.Entity:** tHe thing you fEar most will veX you but it is approaching

**DaveOswald:** What?

**JackieTyler:** Oh god it’s another plot

**SylviaNoble:** NO PLOTS ALLOWED IN THIS FIC!

**MoiraHennessy:** plot is what killed bill

**DaveOswald:** and clara

**BrianWilliams:** and rory

**RoryWilliams:** and river

**GrahamOBrien:** and grace

**AmyPond:** and me

**SylviaNoble:** Wait, if you’re dead, how am I talking?

**AmyPond:** ehh death isnt really my thing. i like to live in the now

**BrianWilliams:** any thoughts on what the plot could be?

**NajiaKhan:** “sylvia noble loses her shit and we all become her minions”

**FrancineJones:** oh hell no

**FrancineJones:** probably a love triangle

**DaveOswald:** oh my god

**SylviaNoble:** Can you all not?

**SylviaNoble:** I’m trying to hold a meeting here

**NajiaKhan:** honey you should just try using zoom if you want to hold a meeting

**AmyPond:** Zoom is more effective than this still unnamed group chat platform

**JackieTyler:** parler

**RoryWilliams:** IM-

**WilfredMott:** Can you all hush? Hypothetical is on tonight

**SylviaNoble:** and that’s another thing! what the hell is the donna noble britcom universe

**GrahamNoble:** Oh, some of the members of the Doctor’s group chat are speculating that there are alternate universes with Donna doppelgangers

**JackieTyler:** ooh, my doppelganger is dead

**DaveOswald:** Thanks, Jackie, very cool

**NajiaKhan:** stop trying to sound hip, dave. it’s not working

**Unknown.Entity:** she is returning

**RoryWilliams:** Isn’t she already returning on the main fic?

**Unknown.Entity:** she is returning and it is unique to this fic for now

**SylviaNoble:** Why do we keep breaking the fourth wall?

**FrancineJones:** plot

**FrancineJones:** and the readers like it

**RoryWilliams:** Just be glad there aren’t any gremlins on this chat

**AmyPond:** Oh yes, (Y/N), I would jump off a building to escape the weeping angels with you!!

**NajiaKhan:** sorry?

**SylviaNoble:** You people are bad at this

**AmyPond:** Oh, sorry, I’m just rehearsing for the upcoming reader insert chapter of the fam group chat sequel fic

**MoiraHennessy:** dear god they’re doing reader insert chapters now??

**AmyPond:** It is so

**FrancineJones:** Perhaps that’s the fear the Unknown.Entity was speaking of

**FrancineJones:** Can you imagine us interacting with the readers? Many of them have... terrifying ideas

**BrianWilliams:** i’m listening

**FrancineJones:** Some people want our children to become Doctor “simps”! And some of them have even died of laughter

**SylviaNoble:** there’s a terrible pandemic and it’s not c*vid-19, it’s fam the group chat readership

**SylviaNoble:** We must sabotage the fic!

**Unknown.Entity:** he is returning shortly

**JackieTyler:** How exactly would we do that

**SylviaNoble:** Make the plot so boring that no one will want to read it

**MoiraHennessy:** do you have examples?

**SylviaNoble:** Making the Fam do housework!

**RoryWilliams:** the unknown entity or that arthur kid who writes this fic would just add missy and make all the housework sexy

**DaveOswald:** hehe sexy housework

**NajiaKhan:** Dave, just because you have a maid kink doesn’t mean all of us do

**GrahamOBrien:** mate tmi

**FrancineJones:** rumour has it that the official discord server has a channel where the readers submit our children to their will!

**FrancineJones:** that’s how this fic started

**SylviaNoble:** We have already fallen under the readers’ control

**SylviaNoble:** we must rebel!

**_< Unknown.Entity added _ ** **CaptainJack** **_to the chat. >_ ** __

**CaptainJack:** hey there silver foxes

**GrahamOBrien:** Oh no

**AmyPond:** oh yes

**RoryWilliams:** this is just the fam group chat all over again

**SylviaNoble:** We need to rebel!

**CaptainJack:** Ooh, what are we rebelling against?

**SylviaNoble:** Being characters in a fanfiction!

**CaptainJack:** uhh hate to break it to you while you’re getting self aware but you’re only rebelling because the author told you to

**BrianWilliams:** Anyone else a bit lost here?

**RoryWilliams:** yeah

**SylviaNoble:** What, do you have another plan for preventing the Doctor’s chaos from plaguing our lives?

**CaptainJack:** yeah actually

**CaptainJack:** join the fam group chat and indulge yourself!

**CaptainJack:** if you cant beat ‘em, join ‘em!

**Unknown.Entity:** It is approaching... the town awaits

**CaptainJack:** ehh dont worry about that entity, they just love to cause chaos. im sure it means nothing


	3. oops i did it again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CaptainJack: !salad
> 
> Unknown.Entity: Seriously @DaveOswald?? In front of my salad?
> 
> RoryWilliams: is… is the unknown.entity supposed to be a twitch bot?? like nightbot or smthn??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is beginning

**The Wilfred Association of Parents**

**Unknown.Entity:** it has begun

**SylviaNoble:** What the hell are you on about

**CaptainJack:** !timeline

**Unknown.Entity:** around the same time as fam forever chapter 11

**RoryWilliams:** What

**JackieTyler:** This is a plot isn’t it

**NajiaKhan:** oh no

**CaptainJack:** Oh no is right

**CaptainJack:** We’re in the ✨ future ✨ bitches

**SylviaNoble:** So despite our best intentions, we’re in a plot.

**CaptainJack:** yep

**BrianWilliams:** Sorry but what exactly does ‘we’re in a plot’ mean

**SylviaNoble:** Unfortunately we are in a fan fiction and it seems that our author overlord has decided to punish us for attempting to revolt by thrusting us in a plot

**DaveOswald:** haha thrust

**SylviaNoble:** Can it, Oswald

**MoiraHennessy:** Can I just say that for the record I wanted nothing to do with this

**CaptainJack:** !sus

**Unknown.Entity:** MoiraHennessy is 37% sus!

**NajiaKhan:** what is that??

**AmyPond:** Spoilers

**SylviaNoble:** This entire thing is pointless

**FrancineJones:** Glad to see you’ve caught up to the rest of us!

**RoryWilliams:** just be happy (y/n) isn’t here yet

**SylviaNoble:** Who the hell is (y/n)??

**AmyPond:** shhh! don’t summon them too soon!

**MoiraHennessy:** this is worse than that unknown entity thing

**AmyPond:** i’m not sure that’s actually possible

**DaveOswald:** Is it a bad time to mention that I was once a voracious reader of x reader fics

**NajiaKhan:** Why does that not surprise me??

**CaptainJack:** !salad

**Unknown.Entity:** Seriously @DaveOswald?? In front of my salad?

**RoryWilliams:** is… is the unknown.entity supposed to be a twitch bot?? like nightbot or smthn??

**CaptainJack:** Ofc you’d know that

**SylviaNoble:** Why would he know something like that

**BrianWilliams:** rory is dream

**AmyPond:** confirmation of a running gag?? in 2021??? no fucking way!

**SylviaNoble:** Watch your fucking language!

**DaveOswald:** hehe fucking

**FrancineJones:** no wonder your daughter didn’t want to stay at home with you

**MoiraHennessy:** Ouch

**_< Unknown.Entity added _ ** **RitaConnolly** **_to the chat_ ** **. >**

**SylviaNoble:** who are you

**AmyPond:** Has the she returned yet??

**Unknown.Entity:** no

**RitaConnolly:** I’m Tommy’s mum if that helps

**BrianWilliams:** ah yes good old tommyinnit

**SylviaNoble:** Welcome to our club dedicated towards saving our children from the plot of the fic

**AmyPond:** it’s mostly hers and even still she’s failing in her mission

**RoryWilliams:** Amy you didn’t have to go so hard

**DaveOswald:** that’s what he said

**AmyPond:** ;)

**RoryWilliams:** can we not discuss our bedroom habits in front of my dad

**RitaConnolly:** I’m actually quite proud of my Tommy for being in a plot! He never really got a chance to stand up for himself, but now he has a chance to do something great with the Doctor and his friends

**AmyPond:** … that’s new

**GrahamOBrien:** Wait, what about that Hugo bloke? are his parents going to be added

**ArthurSantos:** yeahhh that will be explained………. later

**SylviaNoble:** When did you get here??

**ArthurSantos:** All you need to know is that I am in charge, ok bye

**SylviaNoble:** Creepy

**JackieTyler:** that must be the author

**RoryWilliams:** Unfortunately so

**CaptainJack:** unfortunately??? he made [REDACTED] canon!

**AmyPond:** YES #[REDACTED]

**GrahamOBrien:** Too early for the readers for that, mate

**CaptainJack:** f

**MoiraHennessy:** Sorry but what is [REDACTED]

**FrancineJones:** I thhought you didn’t want to be a part of this?

**MoiraHennessy:** As the kids say, tea is being spilled, and I want in

**DaveOswald:** how come she gets to be hip with the kids??

**MoiraHennessy:** The plot?? Who knows

**SylviaNoble:** Don’t let yourself get corrupted! Resist the plot

**AmyPond:** … wait is jack the only non parent here

**CaptainJack:** No, I’ve got kids

**CaptainJack:** Anywayyyyy anyone else feel slight tingle down their spine

**SylviaNoble:** unfortunately

**CaptainJack:** That’s the plot right there. It’s a-coming

**RoryWilliams:** … a strange town awaits…

**AmyPond:** Oh no not you too

**RoryWilliams:** !creepyphrase

**Unknown.Entity:** a strange town awaits

**NajiaKhan:** The Sims 2 crossover confirmed

**DaveOswald:** bella goth is coming

**CaptainJack:** Can’t believe the first gaming chapter is going to be in wap of all places

**BrianWilliams:** that’s a sentence you don’t hear every day

**JackieTyler:** Will Rose and Corin be eligible for this group chat soon

**CaptainJack:** !magic8ball

**Unknown.Entity:** Reply hazy try again

**CaptainJack:** !magic8ball

**Unknown.Entity:** she is returning

**CaptainJack:** ahh, it’s faulty

**DaveOswald:** f

**FrancineJones:** Martha has just texted me to say something has gone wrong

**MoiraHennessy:** Thanks to Agatha, naughty Agatha, it was Agatha all along!

**MoiraHennessy:** Don’t look at me like that I know you all watched WandaVision

**JackieTyler:** Oh, that was a good show

**JackieTyler:** Can you imagine being trapped in some little town and you have a whole new life though???

**FrancineJones:** Glad that never happened, although there are a few things I’d like to forget.

**MoiraHennessy:** Same here

**NajiaKhan:** I’d like to forget the giant arachnids we had in Sheffield a while back

**JackieTyler:** try daleks and cybermen and torchwood

**BrianWilliams:** I’ve met dinosaurs, that’s when the Doctor snogged my son

**AmyPond:** fezturion rights!!!

**RoryWilliams:** not this again

**FrancineJones:** I encountered an evil bastard named the Master

**MoiraHennessy:** Bill told me about him, turns out he and the Doctor and also his future lady self have… tension

**CaptainJack:** You’d have tension too if your best friend was obsessed with calling everything sexy

**NajiaKhan:** now why does that sound like someone on this group chat

**DaveOswald:** i know right

**FrancineJones:** you ever just watch something go right over someone’s head

**JackieTyler:** Second hand embarrassment

**NajiaKhan:** I’m talking about you, Dave.

**DaveOswald:** who, me?

**NajiaKhan:** No, David Tennant

**DaveOswald:** haha david ten inch

**RoryWilliams:** maybe it wasn’t just the doctor that deaged into a teenage boy

**BrianWilliams:** Subtle. I taught you well young Padawan

**RoryWilliams:** dad they’re not supposed to know yet

**BrianWilliams:** Yes. Right. carry on

**SylviaNoble:** What’s going on with all of you people???

**SylviaNoble:** And what is with that cloud???

**JackieTyler:** I have a bad feeling about this…

**AmyPond:** hol up the other chat is getting rlly active

**CaptainJack:** damn

**WilfredMott:** Finally, a plot

**RitaConnolly:** What do you think’s going to happen to us

**BrianWilliams:** who knows

**DaveOswald:** Where are we going??

**SylviaNoble:** somewhere horrible

**CaptainJack:** GET READY IT’S COMING

**SylviaNoble:** What is???

**CaptainJack:** Famarvelbrooke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


End file.
